War of Titans
by AnaCallisto
Summary: Because Kurama will NEVER want to have children.
1. 1: Minigrandpa and the Kids

**Disclaimer: This is fun stuff here, no illegal profits, no drug trafficing, no guys workin' the corner...**

**Seriously though, I hope you guys enjoy this...**

_Chapter 1: Mini-grandpa and the Kids_

Both children stared up at him, bright smiles fixed firmly into place with their hands clasped behind their backs. "Please?"

"No."

The girl frowned at him, tiny arms crossing over her stomach, while the boy looked ready to burst into tears. "But mini-grandpa, we're bored!"

Koenma's lips pursed at the use of the nickname, his gaze shifting from the stack of papers on his desk, to the two children standing next to his chair.

Neither one stood much taller than him in his current form, but they were, nevertheless, taller. The girl's stance was a mirror image of her mother's, weight resting lightly upon her left leg while her head tilted towards the right. Her arms, still wound over her stomach, were covered in white bandages as a result from a fight at school just this morning. While her physical features screamed her mother's name, the personality was all her father; swing first and ask questions later.

Soft-spoken, and much calmer than his twin, the boy clutched a teddy bear to his tiny chest, brows furrowed in quiet frustration at being denied. "We jus' wanna hear a story, mini-grandpa."

Koenma sighed before laying his head in the palms of his hands. "Where's your mother?" The twins giggled, whether at him or his question, he wasn't sure.

Kiyone brushed her bangs away from her face to get a better look at him. "Her an' daddy are havin' grownup time."

He lifted his head and arched an eyebrow. "Say what?"

Arms still crossed, her frown returned with a vengeance as she stared up at him. "What."

Barely suppressing the urge to groan, Koenma slapped a hand to his forehead. "I meant for you to say that again."

And the frown deepened. "That again?"

Daisuke shook his head, before wrapping his arms tighter around the stuffed bear. "That's not what mini-grandpa meant, 'Yone. He wants to know about mommy and daddy."

Koenma blinked, surprised by the near bored expression on the little boy's face. Normally found on the face of his mother, Daisuke's eyes were half-closed with his head cocked to the left, shooting his sister a sideways glance. "That's right."

"Oh." Bandaged arms dropping to her side, Kiyone glared up at him. "Why didn't you jus' say that?"

"He did."

"Didn't not."

"He did."

"No, he didn't not."

"He-

Koenma rolled his eyes skyward before glancing at the ink pen on his desk. _Maybe, if I stab myself hard enough… _"Where'd you say your mother was again?"

Kiyone's grin reminded him so much of her father, that Koenma nearly swallowed his pacifier. "With daddy. They're havin' grownup time."

"And mommy's loud." Daisuke added, bringing a blush to Koenma's cheeks.

"So we came to find you." Kiyone stuck her thumb into her mouth, before climbing up to sit on the edge of Koenma's chair. "Now will you tell us a story?"

"Why don't you ask Ogre to tell you a story? Or Botan? She can tell really good ones."

The twins glanced at one another, before Daisuke sighed, the expression from earlier once again plastered to his face. "Okay, Ogre's busy, so we'll ask Botan."

Kiyone nodded. "But don't blame us when she wants to know about the pictures on your computer."

The otherworldly prince arched an eyebrow, suddenly wary of the two children who seemed to radiate with innocence. _Innocent my ass. _"What pictures?"

With an amount of indifference that no six year-old should possess, Daisuke shrugged his little shoulders. "The ones you took at the beach…"

His other eyebrow joining the first, Koenma stared at the boy. _What could be so bad about-_

With a look of devilish glee to match her brother's level of indifference, Kiyone shifted in the seat to look down at him now. "While she was changin' clothes."

This time, he spit the pacifier clear across the room before turning wide eyes to stare at them, Kiyone first, and then Daisuke. "You wouldn't."

Hopping down from the chair, Kiyone went to stand next to her brother, draping one bandaged arm over his shoulders. "Try us."

As he continued to stare, Koenma came to some very interesting conclusions. First; even though Daisuke was their father in miniature form, and Kiyone possessed the man's brash attitude, they were both extremely cunning. In short, they were their mother's children, plain and simple, and undisputable. "Alright, alright you win. I'll tell you a story." And while they cheered, running off to sit under their so called 'story tree' the prince was reminded of his second discovery for the day. _Six year-olds are evil. _

_End_

**The rest of the crew will show up later, but for now, I'm just gonna have fun torturing Koenma for a while... Go 'head an' click that lil bitty button one the left, huh?**


	2. Bully Killers and a Picnic

**Disclaimer: Y'know, music's good for the soul. I mean, there're just so many different types out there; soul, rock, funk, pop, jazz, bluegrass, the blues, swing, classical, disco and techno, country, rap (both old school and current), rhythm and blues, latin, caribbean, asian, irish, african, arabic, and so much more. I may not own a lot of things, but everyone owns the right to explore new things. So, if the world is truly going to hell in a hand basket, at least go out with something we can be proud of, 'cause music should have no segregations. Okay, enough psychotic rambling…**

Chapter 2: Bully Killers and a Picnic

"So, have you heard about Kiyone and Daisuke's latest trip to the Principal's office?" Botan, arms loaded with a blanket and rather large picnic basket couldn't help but smile when Kurama offered her a hand.

The red-head returned her smile as he pulled the basket into his left hand, before taking the light-blue blanket from her as well. "Not in its entirety, no. Would you care to enlighten me?" His emerald green eyes lit up as he shot her a sideways glance. "After all, one can only imagine when it comes to those two."

The ferry girl chuckled. "Yes, well they certainly know how to keep everyone on their toes, that's for sure. Word is that the twins have eliminated a rather large bully problem, and now they own the playground."

"That much I've already heard." Kurama shifted the blanket. "What I'm curious about, is how they eliminated said problem."

"It's simple really." Koenma came down one of the many hallways, and settled himself in-between the pair, matching his pace to theirs. "Schools consist of a hierarchy, right?"

They nodded.

"So, being that the twins just turned six, they're still at the very bottom of the chain."

Again they nodded, Botan muttering the word "Kindergarten".

"However, by knocking someone off of the chain…

Kurama finished the statement. "They've managed to cement themselves in a firm seat of power." Shaking his head, the kitsune chuckled. "But that still doesn't tell me what they did."

The toddler prince sighed, running a chubby hand along his overly large hat. "Apparently, the way things worked, was that the fifth graders pick their victims monthly; fourth, third, second, and so forth. This month, it was the kindergarteners and Daisuke was the unlucky target."

Botan arched an eyebrow as she glanced down at her employer. "And by unlucky, you mean for the bullies?"

"Of course. From what their parents have told me, Daisuke's only guilty by association. He never took a swing at anyone."

"Let me guess," This time it was Kurama who looked down, shifting the blanket once more. "Insult added to injury?"

Koenma smiled. "You got it. Three boys, beaten by a girl half their size. Kiyone has no problems crushing male egos"

"And Daisuke stood by to watch, probably looking bored out of his mind." Botan reached over Koenma's head, and plucked the blanket from beneath Kurama's arm. "If Kiyone has no doubts on crushing an ego, Daisuke certainly has no qualms about letting her."

The red-head opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it. "Indeed. That one is so much like his mother that it frightens me sometimes."

(Shift)

"How come it's so little, 'Yone?" Crimson colored eyes stared down at the creature being cradled carefully in his sister's hands, the stuffed bear still clutched to his chest by tiny arms.

Kiyone shrugged, pulling her own chocolate gaze away from the butterfly to meet his. "If it was big like us, she couldn't fly."

Seemingly satisfied by this answer, Daisuke resumed his study before finding another question. Brows furrowed in confusion, he cocked his head to the side. "How do you know it's a girl?"

This time, the girl rolled her eyes at him. "'Cause it's purple, Dais. No guy is gonna be colored purple."

He wrinkled his nose, logic dictating that he argue his point. "Uncle 'Rama wears purple."

"Pink." Came the quick retort, followed by a grumbled, "Plus he carries flowers."

Daisuke's brows rose as he considered this new information, and he grinned before giving his sister a nod. "Okay, it's a girl butterfly."

"My uniform is not pink, young lady." Kurama arched an eyebrow as both children turned to look at him. "It's magenta **(1)**. And what exactly, does my carrying of flowers have to do with a girl butterfly, hm?"

Not to be outdone by her uncle, Kiyone merely titled her head back so she could see his eyes, the butterfly still cupped in her hands. "Mommy says that magenta is just a fancy word for pink."

Daisuke bobbed his head in enthusiastic agreement before frowning. "What does fancy mean, 'Yone?"

Gaze still trained on her uncle's shocked features; the girl shifted her weight from the right leg to the left with a smile. "Pretty."

Puzzlement was still clear on his features when he turned to look at Botan. "Does that mean mommy thinks uncle 'Rama should be an aunty like you?"

The blue-haired ferry girl slapped a hand over her mouth in a pathetic attempt not to laugh at Kurama's indignant and out-of-character sputtering. "Here's an idea, Daisuke," she managed between giggles, "Why don't you help me set up the picnic, so that grandpa can tell us that story you two wanted?"

Koenma, however, made no attempt to hide his amusement. "That's exactly what it means Daisuke."

The kitsune crossed his arms before shooting the prince a dirty look. "You are certainly your mother's child young lady, there's no question about that. You're too smart to be considered your father's."

Kiyone giggled at the compliment, before her eyes widened in shock. "Hey! You just called my daddy stupid!"

Giggling as he sat down on the blanket, Daisuke gave a tug on his sister's arm, sending the girl down face first into a sea of blue. The butterfly, now free, landed on his nose and the boy sneezed before glancing back at Kiyone. "Mommy calls him that all the time."

Growling at him, Kiyone took a swing at his head. "That's only 'cause she's married to him."

"Yeah, well." Ducking the swipe, Daisuke regarded her through narrowed eyes. "Maybe uncle 'Rama wants to marry daddy to?"

minor scuffle forgotten, both children turned expectant gazes towards the red-head, as though actually wanting an answer.

Kurama, a gentleman known for his eloquent wording, returned to undignified sputtering, face matching the shade of his hair.

The toddler prince and his ferry girl collapsed into a heap of laughter

"This," The kitsune muttered darkly to himself, "Is why I'm never having children."

_End_

**(1). Rurouni Kenshin. That's all I gotta say. All other characters will make their glorious debut next chapter, and then mini-grandpa (I love that!) will start his story. Kurama is just too fun to torture, I couldn't help myself (- -;)**


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